Begin Again
by Suzie's Q
Summary: Lily encounters a familiar face at her office Christmas party. AU.


Two stories in one day?! Yes, and that's not all! I realized I had a backlog of Christmas!Jily to post, but now it's actually here so it all has to be posted. Please, enjoy if you can! Happy holidays!

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**Begin Again**

Lily turned away from the bulky, broad man just as he let out a booming laugh, taking another sip of her champagne. Kate, the only girl in her office with whom she was on speaking terms, grinned at her, wagging her eyebrows.

Mr. Broadmoor, their boss, shuffled away to speak to someone else, no doubt another executive high up in the Ministry, still chuckling at Lily's last comment. Kate smirked.

"Well, someone's doing a lot of arse-kissing tonight, aren't we?" she said cheerfully, clinking her champagne glass off Lily's.

She rolled her eyes, shrugging her shoulders and scanning the grand ballroom, making sure he was out of earshot.

"Oh, shut it," she muttered, shaking her head. "I only do it because I can_not _be stuck here another year."

Kate laughed, nudging her elbow with her own. "What, trying to get away from me, Evans?"

"You've caught me," Lily replied, grinning. "I just – I don't want to be an assistant."

Kate quirked an eyebrow, taking another champagne flute as a waiter passed them with a tray, eyeing Lily. "What's wrong with being an assistant? I've been one for eight years."

"You like being an assistant," Lily pointed out. "I'm so sick of filing."

Kate snorted. "I don't even do that anymore," she said brightly, sighing happily. "I just arrange meetings really."

"I know!" Lily spluttered with indignation, poking her side. "Because _I'm _the one stuck doing all the filing you won't do."

Kate laughed again and rolled her eyes, patting Lily's arm. "You have to pay your dues, sweetie," she told her, adopting a tone of superiority. "So where do you want to be stuck then?"

"_Not _Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures," Lily said thoughtfully, shrugging her shoulders. She set down her unfinished champagne, glancing around the ballroom again. She smoothed down her dress and sighed, thinking for a minute.

"What then?" Kate prodded.

"Maybe Magical Accidents and Catastrophes," Lily muttered, shrugging her shoulders. As she spoke, her eyes searched through the crowds of people for the Head of that Department. "Or d'you reckon I could get into the Support Staff for the Minister? I'd be happy in Magical Law Enforcement …"

Kate's eyebrows had shot further and further up her forehead while Lily spoke, and she laughed raucously again, shoving a glass of mulled wine into her hand. "Aiming high, aren't we?"

Lily shrugged, her cheeks flushing, and gave Kate a sheepish smile. "I just don't want to be an assistant anymore."

Kate snorted again and said something else, but Lily was no longer listening, her eye caught by a familiar shock of black hair across the room.

"Lily?" Kate's voice sounded far off, and concerned.

Lily shook her head, looking back at her after a few seconds. "Sorry, what?"

"Are you okay?" Kate asked, eyeing her like she was growing an extra leg. "You got all … distant."

Lily swallowed hard, her palms suddenly sweaty, but she shrugged nonchalantly and nodded in that direction. "What Department are they from? I don't remember seeing them."

Kate followed her gaze, and then smirked. "Like what you see?" she taunted, sticking her tongue out. "They don't work at the Ministry. Magical Games and Sports always invites a ton of Quidditch players."

"Quidditch players," Lily repeated breathlessly, a small smile curving her lips.

"Do we have a _thing _for Quidditch players?" Kate prodded, suddenly curious.

Lily went as red as her hair, shrugging. "No, no, I …" She laughed nervously, shaking her head. "One of my old boyfriends is over there."

"One of – of the Quidditch player? In the League? The British League? Competing in the International League as we speak?" Kate was staring at her, her eyes glinting mischievously, and her grip on Lily's arm was starting to hurt.

"Well, not _as we speak," _Lily murmured awkwardly, risking another glance in their direction. "He's – he's over there."

Kate's head whipped around again, her sharp eyes narrowed. "Which one?" she demanded.

Lily rolled her eyes. "That one," she said resignedly, pointing towards her first love. "The one with the black hair and glasses."

"Potter?" she said immediately. "James Potter? You went out with James Potter?"

Lily blinked at her in surprise, stuttering. "Er – yes. In seventh year."

Kate let out a low whistle, shaking her head. "Wow, Evans. I'm impressed. I mean, he's doing really well."

"He is?" Lily inquired, trying to appear casual. "We sort of lost touch after school. Haven't heard much."

Kate nodded, her eyes gleaming with interest. "Yeah! He's signed to the Arrows and everything. One trial season, one season on the reserves, and bam. He's a Chaser."

"I remember," Lily said fondly, nodding. "How could I forget that?"

"And everyone's expecting really big things from him," Kate told her, winking suggestively and not at all subtly. "They're calling him a 'rising arrow'." She laughed, throwing her head back. "Why don't you go say hello?" she suggested, her mouth twitching up at the corner. "Or you know, if not, if it ended badly you could sell your story to a newspaper, everyone's digging for dirt on that boy."

Lily flushed. "I'm not giving you or anyone dirt on him, he's a lovely person," she said haughtily, shaking her head. She glanced over again, her face falling. "No. Look, he's dancing with someone, I don't want to disturb him …" she trailed off, disappointment burning a hole in her heart.

Kate followed her line of vision and then shook her head. "Don't be ridiculous. That's just one of the reporters for the Prophet. He has to stay on their good side, that's all."

Lily gulped, wiping her hands on her dress as surreptitiously as she could manage. "I shouldn't. No, I haven't seen him in about four years. It would be weird." She couldn't help but look over again, and this time she stared, feeling the same tightness in her chest as the last time she saw him. She blinked rapidly, caught off guard by the crumbling pain in her heart.

Kate looked at her and said nothing for at least a minute, her expression softening and her eyes kind. "Lily?" she said after a little while. Lily looked around at her, swallowing hard. "Are you alright?"

Lily nodded, quickly looking back at him – to find him staring right back at her. Her lips parted in surprise, the colour draining from her face. She watched as he said something to the girl he was dancing with, patting her shoulder and made his way past her, in her direction.

Kate caught on quickly. "Oh, he's coming over. _Oh, _he's staring at you," she remarked, her eyebrows shooting up.

"Yes, thank you for that," Lily grumbled. "I can see."

He stopped just in front of her, gazing at her and blinking rapidly like he was sure she'd disappear. Lily gulped, glancing at Kate – for help, in discomfort, she didn't know.

Kate smiled, patting her arm. "I'll just – Oh, look there's …"

She left without finishing, and a deafening silence descended on the two of them. He looked _good. _His hair was the same as always, an untameable mess, and he still wore glasses, behind which his hazel eyes still gleamed with mischief, framed by fine black eyelashes. He was lean still, but his shoulders were broader now. He was wearing a short sleeved shirt – in winter, that would be James – and now she could see definition in the muscles on his arms.

And he was grinning at her, that same crooked smile, dimpling one cheek. She took in every inch of him, and once she realized she was staring at him, it hit her that he was staring right back at her, looking like someone had knocked the wind out of him, which wasn't far from how she felt. She felt her cheeks heat up again.

He stumbled forward, someone knocking into his shoulder and causing him to lose his balance. They weren't more than inches apart, for the first time in over four years.

Silence wore on, until eventually the corner of his mouth twitched up. "Hi," he said breathlessly, grinning down at her.

She blinked at him, and if she'd been able to think of something to say, her words would have gotten stuck in her throat. She didn't have time to recover, however; a second later he'd scooped her into his arms and hugged her tightly, laughter bubbling from his lips.

"It's so good to see you," he muttered into her ear. Despite herself, she shivered a little.

"It's great to see you too," she replied, allowing herself to grin and wrap her arms around him, just as he moved to pull away from her.

"So what are you doing here?" he asked delightedly, plucking a fresh drink from a tray as a waiter passed and tipping it in her direction before taking a sip. "I thought you said you'd detest going to work in the Ministry."

"Not as much as I detest having no job, it turned out," she told him with a rueful smile, shrugging her shoulders.

He chuckled, shaking his head, and Lily was extremely aware of the way he was surveying her, his gaze intensifying with each passing second. She smiled weakly, letting out a shaky sigh, eventually realizing that she was staring back at him, and she had no idea how long their gazes had been fixed on each other.

"It's just so good to see you," he said after a while, his voice a little hoarser than it had been a second ago. "Do you want to … Do you want to get a table or something? There's one in the corner or something …"

She stuttered for a second, caught off guard, and she was sure her knees had gone weak. "I – yeah, that sounds alright," she said weakly, her cheeks flushing the same colour as her hair as she tucked a strand of it behind her ear. A bright, wide smile spread across her face, one he returned with gleaming eyes.

He led her to an empty table in the corner, placing a drink in front of her. He sat down opposite her, staring at her for a few seconds longer, raking his fingers through his hair. "So how have you been? I didn't know you were working here."

She nodded, glancing around. "Yes," she said thoughtfully. "About three months now. I'm in Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures."

His eyebrows shot up. "I didn't think – I didn't know that was your field of interest," he said, trying to remain polite, but his incredulity was obvious. She chuckled.

"No, it's not," she assured him, and he nodded, almost looking a little consoled. "You've just got to start somewhere, I suppose." She shrugged, sighing dramatically.

He nodded. "Well, you know, if you want, I can talk to my dad, he's in Law Enforcement, and I'm pretty sure I could find someone to talk to you in Games and Sports, they're always bending over backwards to keep Quidditch players happy …"

Lily laughed, shaking her head quickly. "No, no, that's not necessary. I actually have an interview with the Committee of Experimental Charms in the new year, so I'm hoping that'll go well."

He nodded, grinning at her. "Your dream job," he said slowly.

She beamed and nodded, taking up her glass and tapping it against his. "Well, yes, actually," she said, brushing her hair back again. Some fairies floated over their heads, throwing bits of glitter and tinsel over them, and she shook it off her shoulders before continuing. "Speaking of dream jobs," she announced, beaming. "Look at you. The _Arrows."_

James grinned at her, releasing a fresh wave of butterflies in her stomach, and even looked a little bashful. "Erm – yeah. It was just luck really."

Lily snorted. "Luck, hardly. You always worked so hard, I'm not surprised."

He shrugged. "Well, I still got lucky. You don't know how many people were there, at the trials. And it was just – pure luck."

She shook her head, beaming at him. "I bet it wasn't. I've never known you to be so modest before, what happened?"

He shrugged, chuckling weakly. "I just – I'm telling you," he tried to explain. "It was just luck. Even_without _my lucky charm," he added, raising one eyebrow as he nodded towards her, his eyes twinkling.

She flushed again and ducked her head, her hair falling into her face. "Oh god, I'd forgotten you used to call me that," she mumbled, glancing up at him.

"I didn't. Only on match days," he replied, managing a small smile.

"Oh, that's right," she murmured, beaming at him. The crowd let out cheers and shouts, and the band started playing a more upbeat song than they'd been playing up to now. "You used to tell me I was an angel."

He moved closer to her so he could hear her above the volume of the band and the people, all trying to be heard over the rising music. He barked out a laugh, almost nervously, and raked his fingers through his hair again.

"Yeah, I remember," he muttered, grimacing a little bit. "I suppose I thought I was being charming."

"Ah, you were," she allowed, nudging his side. "I liked it."

"Mmm…" He looked up at her again and grinned again, his cheek dimpling on one side. They talked for about an hour longer, by which time Lily had noticed Kate ogling them from across the room, her mouth agape. She was also aware of James' father catching sight of them and looking curious, of her boss and a few members of Magical Games and Sports, eyeing them with interest.

It felt normal. It felt nice; it gave her a warm, bubbly feeling. It made her feel like she was seventeen again, and everything would be alright once he'd smile at her. She remembered walking down the corridors with his hand in hers, the way he smiled right before he kissed her, running into class late because they'd been snogging for the last ten minutes. She remembered being completely and utterly in love with this boy.

And she realized that it was a very similar feeling to the one she had right now, making her heart thud in her chest, and her stomach do somersaults.

And she also realized that she was loving every minute of it, especially when he was talking about them. They'd grown closer and closer while they talked, until they were leaning into one another, him practically talking in her ear the whole time.

Somewhere along the way, he'd taken hold of one of her hands in both of his, and was examining her fingers like he had never seen the likes of them before. She was staring at him, taking in the exquisite gold quality to his hazel eyes in the dim party lights. The rest of the party had dulled, the shouts and cheers and music dwindling to a low murmur in the background.

Her skin was tingling where it made contact with his; how could nothing have changed, in so long? How did he still make her feel the same way she had always felt? Why did she feel like her hand was on fire, like electric shocks were coursing through her veins, like her heart was slamming against her ribcage so hard she was sure it would break through at any second?

And when he started to speak seriously, frowning at her and staring at her like he was afraid she'd disappear at any second, she could almost convince herself that she was _still _seventeen, that they had never stopped being in that wonderful place, and for the life of her she couldn't remember why they'd broken up at all in the first place.

"You know, I've really missed you," he muttered, blinking at her. "I know we were pretty much going in opposite directions, but that's a stupid reason, isn't it? We could have … I don't know, tried."

"I think you've had a lot of that pink stuff, what was in that drink?" Lily said softly, smiling at him gently and retracting her hand.

"I'm serious!" he laughed, still gazing at her intensely. "I miss you! There was never anyone … quite like you …" He sighed, sitting back in the chair and frowning to himself, running a hand over his chin.

"What, the Quidditch superstar life not suiting you?" she teased, poking his side and laughing nervously. He blinked up at her at that, uncharacteristically solemn.

"It's quite lonely, actually," he told her matter-of-factly, his stare never wavering. Whatever she'd been expecting, it wasn't that. Her hand felt overwhelmingly empty when it wasn't in his, and she frowned down at it while she thought, wishing he'd take it up again.

"So do you ever miss me?" he prodded, but now he wasn't looking at her. His gaze was cast over the throngs of people, enjoying the night, laughing, drinking, screeching, oblivious to how Lily's heart was pumping, oblivious to the two people sitting at a table in the corner and quite possibly falling in love all over again.

She sighed heavily, scrutinizing him for a few seconds. "Yes," she admitted. "I miss you – you know, when you see other people being all happy, and you're just … there."

The corner of his mouth tugged up in a small, dry smile. "I know the feeling," he muttered.

"I miss you right now," she added, her voice dropping with her confidence.

"But I'm right here," he announced, holding out his arms to emphasize his presence. "See?"

"Not what I meant," she murmured, swirling her drink around in the cup before taking another light sip.

He nodded, but didn't say anything else on the matter. A few seconds later, he picked a new topic. "So, how will you be spending this Christmas, Evans?" he asked cheerfully, though his eyes were still serious and intense.

She downed the last few drops of her drink, and grinned at him. "With my cat, probably."

His eyebrows shot up, and he let out an amused chortle, shaking his head. "Oh, yeah! That ruddy animal – what was it again, Diabetes?"

"_Dionysus," _she corrected him, giggling and smiling fondly at the old, familiar exchange.

He waved his hand dismissively, that familiar twinkle back in his eyes. "Same thing."

She opened her mouth to speak, but she was interrupted by the arrival of a very drunk, very tall boy, whom Lily recognized as one of the boys James had been with earlier. He sat down on the vacant seat on James' other side, grinning like an idiot.

"Oi, James, who's the bird?" he said, prodding James' arm incessantly, his words slurring into each other.

James cleared his throat, suddenly uncomfortable. "Oh right – er, Keith, this is Lily. Lily, Keith."

Keith's inebriated face lit up. "So you're Lily?" he exclaimed, holding out a hand and shaking hers grimly. "James has mentioned you."

"He – he has?" Lily stammered, raising one eyebrow. James opened his mouth to speak – probably to make up some hasty explanation – but Keith effectively stopped him by shoving his hand in his face.

"Of course he has!" he slurred. "He said he went out with this really amazing girl when he was at school," he told her, quite straightforwardly, like he was telling her how the weather was on his journey here. "Talks about you all the time."

"That's a bit of an exaggeration," a bright red James interjected, scowling.

"Alright, point taken," Keith sputtered. "But you have mentioned her. Your Lily. Best thing that ever happened to you, or whatever."

James turned to him, his eyes narrowed. "You are going to be so hungover tomorrow and I am going to make good use of such an auspicious opportunity."

Keith just blinked at him, evidently confused.

Lily opened her mouth to speak again – but another arrival joined the table, the familiar face of Sirius Black. "Prongs, we better be going, Aldridge has been eyeing you all night and if she gets her talons into you – Oh. Evans."

He stared at her, shocked beyond belief, but he recovered quickly. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Likewise," Lily replied, smiling at him pleasantly.

"I'm here as James' special guest," Sirius told her, his tone overly romantic.

"Ah. I see. It's good to see you," she told him. He returned the sentiments, before turning back to his best friend.

"So this is where you've been hiding all night?" he said accusingly, his eyes narrowed. James just smirked back at him, oddly unfazed by that, compared to how red he had gone only minutes earlier.

"You caught me," he drawled, grinning.

"Well, Evans, please believe me when I say I'm genuinely sorry to steal him away from you," he said, his eyes darting between the two of them. "But we've both got a very early start in the morning, and if we don't leave now, he'll be like a dragon in the morning and I'll have to deal with him."

James' mouth was in a set line, and Lily was secretly delighted to see that he looked as disappointed as she felt. He stood up, and pulled her to one side. "Listen, I'd love to talk when I could actually hear you," he told her quickly, glancing over her shoulder every few seconds. "D'you think maybe we could go for a coffee or something?"

Her heart stuttered to a halt in her chest, and she nodded. "Yeah. I'd love that. Okay." He grinned, that charming, dazzling smile that he was famous for when they were at school, with his eyes twinkling and his cheeks dimpling, and it became a little harder for her to breathe.

"Great," he said, sounding a little breathy himself. They agreed a time, and a place, in two days time. Lily already knew they'd be the longest two days of her life. He leaned in – Lily's heart went into overdrive, every rational thought dispelled from her head – and he kissed her cheek. She deflated a little bit, but he was still grinning at her, and he winked before bidding her goodnight, rekindling her high spirits again.

She sighed heavily, leaning against the wall when her legs would no longer support her anymore. She could see Kate making a beeline for her once she was alone, but it didn't matter. In two days, she'd be seeing him again. All she had to do was wait.

They had ended up spending five hours in the same seats in the window of the cafe, and even a few days later, it still made her heart soar to think of the way he'd looked at her, to think of how much he'd made her laugh. It had been so easy, so _them, _like they'd never been apart at all.

But for all her joy and exhilaration, vitality and excitement coursing through her, she shrunk a little when she thought about when they were saying their goodbyes. He'd held out his hand, still beaming at her, and – and nothing. They'd shook hands, he'd told her he'd write to her, and then Disapparated.

He hadn't written – albeit she'd only given him three days – but by the time it got to Christmas Day, she was moping, the spring in her step all but gone.

She wasn't even dressed – she was planning to go to Mary's for Christmas, since she was invited (or rather, coerced), though she didn't feel like intruding. And yet, last Christmas had been so lonely, she didn't want to do that again.

But something changed her plans, something standing at her door in a ridiculously hideous Christmas jumper, his hair dotted with snow. "So I was thinking," James began, out of breath like he'd been running.

She was still staring, eyes wide, only vaguely aware that she was dressed in a large t-shirt that she wore to bed. "Well, there's a first for everything," she said breathlessly, grinning a little.

He smiled back at her. "Hush, you, I'm being romantic here." She pressed her lips together, her words caught in her throat. "So I was thinking," he started again. "You never met my dad. And you should really meet him. And I don't want you to be alone at Christmas, so it's killing two birds with one stone, really, and – "

"Did you say you were trying to be romantic?"

He cut himself off, scowling playfully. "The cat can come too, how about that?"

She gazed at him for at least a full minute, while he fidgeted awkwardly and shifted his weight from foot to foot. Then she let out a laugh, and started forward, throwing her arms around him. His arms encircled her waist, he lifted her right off the ground, and finally – _finally – _his lips found hers.

He smiled against her mouth. "Would it be too cheesy to tell you Merry Christmas right about now?"

Lily let out a delighted laugh, nudging her nose against his. "Yes, but do it anyway."

He grinned even wider, kissing her again, slowly, deliberately. "Merry Christmas, Lily."

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Thank you for reading!


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